**Shelle's Pearls of Wisdom: BDay Rachet edition

🎂 IT'S MY MOTHERFUCKIN' BIRTHDAY!! 🎂

So y'all already got the sweet, inspirational version of Shelle's Pearls of Wisdom yesterday. You know... the one about living life to the fullest because tomorrow isn't promised. Well, today is my birthday, I turned 45, and I figured I'd give y'all the Ratchet Edition. Because after 45 years on this Earth, surviving more than I was ever supposed to survive, I've earned the right to say exactly what's on my mind.

Here's today's Pearl...

Fuck what other people think.

Seriously.

One of the biggest mistakes I made for years was trying to make everybody else happy. I was the people pleaser. I said "yes" when I should've said "hell no." I bent over backward for people who wouldn't have taken one step forward for me. I lost sleep. I lost money. I lost opportunities. I lost peace. I spent time pouring into people who didn't deserve a damn drop of what I had to offer. And the crazy part? Most of them wouldn't have poured a teaspoon back into my cup if I needed it.

At 45, I'm done with that.

I've learned that protecting my peace isn't selfish. Having boundaries isn't mean. Saying "no" doesn't make me a bad person. If somebody gets upset because I finally started choosing myself, that's their problem, not mine. Life is way too short to keep auditioning for a role in someone else's story when I'm supposed to be the main character in my own.

And while we're talking about it, stop worrying so damn much about what people think. Wear the outfit. Cut your hair. Grow your hair. Post the selfie. Take the trip. Start the business. Dance even if you've got no rhythm. Laugh too loud. Live your life. Folks are going to have something to say whether you're winning or losing, so you might as well enjoy yourself while they're talking.

Now... since this is the ratchet edition, let's talk about sex for a second.

Baby... I'm too grown to be faking anything anymore.

I've always been a giver. I'm a Cancer. I genuinely enjoy making my partner happy. But somewhere along the way I realized something... my pleasure matters too. I deserve to enjoy myself just as much as the other person does. Closed mouths don't get fed, and if you don't speak up about what you like, how is anybody supposed to know? So yes, I'm done settling. I'm done pretending. I'm done acting like my satisfaction comes second. Everybody involved should be having a good damn time.

The older I get, the more I realize this Pearl isn't really about sex at all. It's about giving yourself permission to ask for what you deserve in every part of your life. Your happiness. Your peace. Your respect. Your boundaries. Your dreams. Your love. Your pleasure. Stop apologizing for taking up space. Stop shrinking yourself to make other people comfortable. Stop chasing people who don't choose you. Stop pouring into cups that have holes in the bottom.

So on my 45th birthday, that's my gift to myself. I'm choosing me. I'm choosing peace. I'm choosing joy. I'm choosing people who choose me back. And if that makes somebody uncomfortable... they'll be alright.

Happy Birthday to me.

Forty-five years old. Fine as wine. Wiser than I've ever been. Still healing. Still growing. Still laughing. Still loving. And finally... living life on my terms.

Shelle's Ratchet Pearl of Wisdom:

Life is too damn short to live for everybody else. Protect your peace, ask for what you deserve, and don't ever apologize for getting yours. 🥂🔥