Shelle's Pearls of Wisdom: We Matter

Today, I'm tired. Not physically tired. Soul tired. The kind of tired that comes from constantly feeling overlooked, unheard, unseen, and dismissed. Not because I am invisible. Not because we are invisible. But because too many people have become comfortable looking right through us. So let me say this clearly: I am here. We are here. I am important. We are important. Our experiences matter. Our feelings matter. Our voices matter. Our presence matters. And I'm exhausted from having to remind people of that.

White people, hear me out. You don't always have to have a solution when you apologize. You don't always have to explain your intentions. You don't always have to tell me why you didn't mean it. Sometimes you simply need to own it. You messed up. You said the thing. You did the thing. You were dismissive. You were careless. You were thoughtless. Own that shit.

Stop pushing the blame back onto the person who was harmed. Stop making the injured party responsible for making you feel better about your mistake. Stop explaining. Stop defending. Stop talking. And start listening. Because what many of us need isn't another verbal-vomit apology. We don't need paragraphs about your intentions. We don't need a list of reasons why you're actually a good person.

We need action. We need change. We need accountability. Real accountability. The kind that exists when we're not in the room. We need you to speak up in spaces where our voices cannot be heard. We need you to challenge false narratives when they are being spread. We need you to shut down racist jokes instead of laughing awkwardly and moving on.

We need you to question systems that benefit you while harming others. And for the love of God, stop dismissing our feelings. Stop treating our pain like an inconvenience. Stop treating our concerns like an overreaction. Stop treating our lived experiences like a debate. You don't have to agree with every feeling I have, but you do need to respect that those feelings came from a lived experience you may never fully understand.

Being an ally is not about what you say when everyone is watching. It's about what you do when no one is looking. It's about what happens after the apology. It's about what changes after the conversation. Because if nothing changes, then all you've done is ask for forgiveness while protecting the behavior. Frankly, many of us are tired of carrying both our pain and your comfort.

So today, I am taking up space. Not asking for permission. Not shrinking myself. Not softening my truth to make it easier to digest. I am here. We are here. We matter. And I'm sick and tired of having to remind people of that.

— Shelle's Pearls of Wisdom